Let’s talk about how my kids eat for a minute.
Sam eats about 5 things…most of them being bread in some form or another. Please note that I am not including anything sweet…of which he has a
very extensive list of things he will eat…most of them gummy in some
form or another. He will eat PB & fluff sandwiches, pizza, spaghetti, macaroni and cheese, any kind of breakfast food that one might put syrup on, potato chips (salt and vinegar of all things) and dinosaur chicken nuggets. Yep, that about covers it.
Jane will try almost anything; tuna fish, fried calamari, buffalo chicken. Lately though, she is taking her cues from her brother, and chooses to eat (and reject) the same things that he does. I remember hoping that she would like to do the same things that he does, but come ON people. This is just ridiculous.
Their only saving grace is that they LOVE milk, and yogurt, and those little cups of diced pears, and blueberries. Huh? What about vegetables? What the heck are THOSE?
But fear not. I have a new secret weapon. And that weapon is a bottle of magic sprinkles. Funny how multi-colored nonpareils can make even the pickiest eater begging for more. What? You don’t want to eat this turkey? BLAM! SPRINKLEY TURKEY! Sorry? You aren’t interested in this cantaloupe? KA-POW! SPRINKLEY CANTALOUPE! I am thinking of getting a holster and carrying the little bottle of sprinkly love everywhere I go. Look out, kids, mommy’s packin’.
So tonight after the very nutritious dinner of froot loops and pears, I hear them in the kitchen, then they are suddenly very quiet. Too quiet. I tiptoe in there to find them under the table, all whispery with each other…
"whatcha doin’ under there, guys?"
"NUFFIN!" Sam says. (a sure sign of trouble.)
"are you eating something? What are you eating??"
"NUFFIN!" Sam says again…
Then my lovely daughter wriggles out and I see what they have been eating…it is all over her face. It is blue….it is…
My children, who will not let a carrot pass over their lips, are under the table eating power ranger toothpaste.
(would I lie to you after all we have meant to each other?)
Maybe I’ll get a double holster…one slot for sprinkles, the other for toothpaste.